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Sex With The Electrician

...is not as I pictured it. We meet at a bar, he tells me a joke and I laugh although let's be frank - it wasn't funny - something about how many nuns does it take to screw in a light bu... and of course, he's an electrician. He is muscular and tall, and I picture him climbing up a wooden telephone pole, bear-like, aggressive, shirtless (this is not how it would be done, but we are in my mind) and I can see the muscles on his back gliding up and down underneath his skin, protected by a furious, snarling tiger tattoo that covers him from his neck to the rim of his pants. But no, he says - he is a residential electrician - he wires telephones and internet lines and - yes - sometimes - he screws in light bulbs,and my friends say he is an 8 out of 10 and this means I should take him home because really, I haven't slept with anyone over a 7 in a very, very long time. So I take him home, we walk into my house and it's dirty, and I was not expecting guests so my ravioli from dinner is stuck to the bowl on the table and I jokingly offer him some and he says "hey that's kind of gross" and I see he does NOT get sarcasm but he is sure willing to screw me, turn me on, any other sort of electrician joke that I can think of and as we lie in bed afterwards I notice he does not have the vicious tiger tattoo that I pictured. Maybe I should have let a plumber buy me a drink instead because at least he could have cleaned out my pipes.

Story by:

Laura Grodin

submitted at 2:56am

24 December 2011