I Didn't Want
"I can't believe I'm here. I told myself I wouldn't come... I told myself I wouldn't cry... I... I... for crissakes, can you hear me? What were you thinking... I mean, what has this fixed? The doctor told me they intend to commit you when you wake up... if you wake up... I... I don't know. I don't even know what to say to you... I didn't bring Jackson. He's with my mother, I couldn't let him see you like this... look, I'm sorry, okay, I really am sorry. I wasn't trying to keep him away from you. I want him to know his father, but... but when you start drinking... god, you promised me a child would help you stay clean... why didn't you let me help? You just pushed me away, bottled it all up... gave up your only son for whiskey... I just can't get that day outta my mind... you passed out on the couch, Jackson playing in your vomit... and you were surprised I left... now this... what am I supposed to tell him... god... you know, I saw your apartment. Your landlord called, so I went, I saw... the ceiling, the blood on the carpet... it's a fucking mess, and he's threatening to throw your stuff out... I took that picture of Jackson and I building the sandcastle... it made me cry... it almost makes me believe you wanted to get through this, but, but I can't even look at you like this...fractured skull, the mark on your neck... I can't... I have to go...I came, that's more than I wanted to do... I came, but I'm leaving before I start crying again."