A Martian hired me to sell alien finger sandwiches from a pushcart.
Customers loved them. Unfortunately, everybody who ate them turned blue, and their stomachs exploded. People stopped eating alien finger sandwiches.
"Hey, Boss," I said. "Here's an idea. Dye the alien fingers brown. Crush them into patties. Give them a catchy name. Spend a few bucks on advertising. Americans will eat anything with a goofy name that looks like a hamburger. Don't forget to add something to stop stomachs from exploding."
Experiments showed ground eyeballs from dead Martians stopped stomach explosions. They were added to the patties.
Business is great. Next time you're in Phoenix, stop by my cart and try some Pooky Burgers. Mention this story. I'll give you a big discount.
submitted at 5:51pm
22 August 2010
Michael's stories have been published by 128 magazines and 36 anthologies.