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Blind Date

This blind date sucks, and we haven't even finished our first round of drinks. She looks like my Uncle Fred, except older. So how do I ditch her?

Tell her I need to pee, and just take off? That won't work, our table's in sight of the men's room. She'll see me walking out and probably tackle me.

Fake an epileptic seizure and have the paramedics haul me out in the meat wagon? No, too extreme.

Got it. I'll tell her I'm going to the bar to get a cherry skewered on one of those little umbrellas for my mai-tai, and from there I can make a clean exit. It's so stupid, she'll never think I made it up.

As I'm about to stand up, she says, "Ralph, I'm going to the bar to get an olive skewered on one of those little swords for my martini."

Story by:

Stephen Greco

4 May 2018