A Big Wad of Cash
Charlie’s mom was convinced werewolves were roaming the woods near her house. She asked Charlie to buy her a pistol and silver bullets for Mothers day. Charlie complied and spent $600 for a pistol and $5,732 for a box of 50 sterling silver bullets.
She loved his gift. "Those damn werewolves are gonna be sorry if they ever show up around here!" she exclaimed.
Next day, she was found dead. The pistol and empty bullet box were in her lap. Though she’d fired all 50, no other bodies were found. Cops were mystified.
Nobody knew the woods near her house were infested with zombies who sounded like werewolves when they howled. Also unknown was that those zombies also celebrated Mother’s Day. One named Waldo decided to surprise his mom with a toaster for Mother’s Day. Before leaving for Wal-Mart to steal one, because zombies don’t have cash, checks, or credit cards, Waldo’s mom said she’d wanted fresh human brains for Mother’s Day. Waldo and two friends invaded Charlie’s mom’s house to get some.
Mom fought them valiantly. However, zombies can’t be stopped by bullets - silver or otherwise.
After delivering fresh, steaming brains to his delighted mom, Waldo and his friends removed 50 silver slugs from their bodies, melted them, formed them into ingots, and sold them to a precious metals dealer for $4,500.
Now, cops are searching for zombies who are carrying a big wad of cash.
submitted at 5:27pm
28 May 2009
Michael's stories have been published by 108 magazines and 30 anthologies.