"Zombies are on the rampage!" Charlie yelled over his cell phone. "Theyíll probably reach your place by sundown."
"Thanks for letting me know," Bill said. "Iíll leave town right now."
"No need to if you have Oreo cookies. Zombies prefer them to brains."
"I never heard anything so crazy."
"Itís true," Charlie said. "I saw it on the Food Channel. They were talking about food fads of the undead, and how todayís more sophisticated zombies have acquired tastes for stuff other than brains. The King of The Zombies explained it all. Then the host said, ĎThis is great news. Remember folks - if youíre in the path of rampaging zombies, just offer then Oreos, and they wonít harm you.'"
"Thanks for telling me, Charlie. Iím glad I donít have to run for my life."
Later, when dozens of marauding zombies approached Billís house, he rushed outside with a cookie jar crammed with Oreos.
"Hi guys. Have some Oreos."
Snickering, the zombies grabbed him and bit his skull open.
"Why?" Bill screamed.
"Oreos are out. Chocolate chip cookies are in. Got any?"
"Tough break," one of them said, as he pulled out a razor sharp ice cream scoop and went to work on Bills brains. "I guess he didnít see us on the Food Channel yesterday when we discussed our very latest food fads."
submitted at 10:57pm
24 May 2009
Michael's stories have been published by 108 magazines and 30 anthologies.