A Brilliant Discovery
A horrendous electrical storm raged that fateful night in 1902. At its peak, Dr. Gorb yelled, "Quick, Eye-gor! Press the switch!"
Illiterate Eye-gor pressed the Flufnoodle switch.
Lightning struck the corpse, transforming it into a reddish blob.
"What went wrong?" yelled Dr. Gorb.
Approaching cautiously, Eye-gor sliced a morsel from the blob. "Smells good, Doctor. Yummy! Tastes like salami."
"Salami? Arg! I failed again! Thatís it. Iím throwing in the towel. No more experiments on human corpses."
"Wait, Doctor. You've created delicious salami. Villagers love salami, but it's awfully expensive. Beat the competition by selling this cheap. Youíll get rich."
Gorb tried a piece. "Youíre right. This IS scrumptious. But what happens when this supply is depleted?"
"Bubonic plague fills our cemeteries with fresh corpses every day. No sense letting all that go to waste."
"Brilliant," said Gorb. Iím promoting you from Flunky 3rd Class to Culinary Specialist 3rd Class." Grabbing his journal, Gorb wrote, "Today I made an incredible discovery: corpses + lightning = salami. Iíll call this tasty treat, Doctor Gorbís Special Formula Salami. Maybe Iíll even export this wonderful product."
And export, he did. Since then, Doctor Gorbís Special Formula Salami has been Americaís favorite.
submitted at 4:45pm
6 May 2009
Michael's stories have been published by 107 magazines and 30 anthologies.