"Where were you last night?" yelled Marcia.
"Monsters kidnapped me," said Harry.
"Lying sonovabitch!" she hollered, swinging a rolling pin at his head.
"Honest. Giant, mutant praying mantises grabbed me. They were hiding in the dark, right outside Clancy’s Bar."
"Oh yeah? Well, Jerk-o, tell me this: how did you manage to get away?
"I promised them a bunch of Bugs-R-Us gift certificates and you."
The roof flew off. Giant tentacles grabbed the gift certificates and Marcia.
Harry heard horrible screams, followed by a monstrous burp.
"Thanks, guys," he yelled. "Now I can collect on her million dollar life insurance policy. Next time you’re at Clancy’s, drinks are on me."
submitted at 6:53pm
30 April 2009
Michael's stories have been published by 107 magazines and 30 anthologies.